Experience College with an Open Hand and an Open Heart
By Emmy King
So you’ve finally made it to your freshman year of college at 皇家华人 Fox. Not that long ago you were filling out college applications, going to your last high school dances, and attending grad parties as you celebrated the end of your high school career. Then you powered through a fun but stressful move-in complete with a whirlwind of Welcome Weekend activities.
Now you’re forging your way through the first couple weeks of class as you read extensive syllabi, engage in awkward ice breakers, and explore the ins and outs of this little college town. Everything is equal parts new, exciting and overwhelming. You might be thinking any number of things, including (or not):
- How am I going to finish all this THEO 101 reading?
- Who am I going to sit with at dinner tonight in the Bon?
- Should I go talk to that cute girl/boy in my class?
- How in the world am I supposed to use this laundry card?
- Some of the classes in my major seem really difficult … Do I really want to study this?
- Dang it! I left that important thing at home, and now I have to wait until Thanksgiving break to grab it…
And that’s just scratching the surface. Being a freshman in college isn’t a walk in the park – it’s hard work. You left most of the community you spent the first 18 years of your life building back home, and you don’t know what the future holds for you here. Who are you going to lean on this year when times get tough? Who is going to pick you up when you fall?
All of these questions (and many more) were running through my head three years ago when I first started my college career at 皇家华人 Fox. I was a first-generation college student from Southern California who didn’t know a single person in the whole state of Oregon when I first moved to Newberg. I felt like a fish out of water, and I was desperate to plant my feet on solid ground and build a life for myself here. I became a raging extrovert, joined student government, and spent all of my free time connecting with people. I thought that if I made enough friends and enrolled in enough extracurricular activities I would be able to create a home for myself – a home to replace the one I had left behind.
But my plan didn’t work. All of those surface-level friendships and extra commitments didn’t give me joy or peace. Instead of feeling at home, I felt more and more isolated and burnt out. I had been so intent on being in control of my life and my future at Fox that I lost sight of the reason I enrolled in the first place – to grow closer to God.
I believe that there are some hard truths that every young person must come to 皇家华人 with as they get older. Some people discover these truths quickly, and some take years to find them. I fall somewhere in the second camp, but I’ve heard it said that it’s never too late to learn something new.
Here’s what I’ve learned over the past three years:
You’re not in control of much, even as an adult. You’re not perfect, and things won’t always go your way. You’ll make friends and lose friends; you’ll ace some assignments and struggle with others; you’ll find yourself at the top of mountains and at the base of valleys. There’s no avoiding it. No amount of preparation and planning, no number of daily planners or Google Calendar events will be able to protect you from the growing pains you'll experience over the next four years.
And that’s part of the beauty. Every struggle and every success is part of something bigger. And when you reach your senior year and finally take a minute to look back, you might feel like me – mournful that it’s almost over, grateful for what God gave you when you weren’t looking, and excited about what he might do next. It’s hard to see your college experience as a whole until you’re at the end, but I would encourage you to remind yourself that what is happening right now is not forever.
Lately some good friends of mine have been reminding me to hold the things I have with an open hand, and I think they’re on to something. The best things in life are the things God gives us because he knows us better than we know ourselves. But if we’re holding onto our hopes, dreams and plans with clenched fists, where can God put the things he wants to give us?
I’ve spent three years holding on to flawed plans and shortsighted desires with clenched fists. And yet, the things I’m most proud of and most grateful for seemed to fall in my lap when I wasn’t looking. So when you notice that you’re starting to hold on to your own ideas and plans a little too tightly, catch yourself. The best way to experience college is with an open hand and an open heart.
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